Bertha: Hi All
Louise: Hi Bertha – what u upto?
Bertha: Going out to celebrate.
Louise: u won the lottery?
Bertha: No – lost 2 stone!!!!!!!
Louise: OMG – that calls for a slap up meal.
Bertha: Yeah – 2 stone in just 2 weeks.
Louise: what! impossible! You can’t lose 2 stone in 2 weeks.
Bertha: I’m not kidding – I’ve gone from 18 to 16 stone.
Louise: Yeah. What did you do – cut off your legs?
Bertha: No – it’s a new food range that actively burns up calories. It’s called Calorie Replacement Activity Program.
Louise: Like – what’s that?
Bertha: It’s a whole range of foods. Everything from Chinese meals to chocolate bars – they even have a range of organic wines. It’s new to the UK – been around America for a year or so.
Louise: and it really helps you lose weight?
Bertha: yeah – the stuff contains active calories instead of normal ones.
Louise: how do u mean?
Bertha: Well everything you eat contains calories – right?
Louise: right
Bertha: And the calories settle in the stupeed intestine of the stomach where they are turned to fat – right?
Louise: . . . follow you so far
Bertha: Well Active Calories don’t do that – they move about.
Louise: what difference does that make
Bertha: Well think about it – if you sat on your fat arse all day you would become fatter and fatter – right. But if you spend all day down at the gym you’d look like a super-model. Right?
Louise: Suppose so
Bertha: Well – when the Active Calories move about they are burning up all their energy so there’s none left to be converted into fat – simple!!
Louise: And this stuff works?
Bertha: Works for me – my target is to get down to 12 stone by Christmas.
Louise: What did you say this stuff is called.
Bertha: It’s Calorie Replacement Activity Program – but if you go to the chemist and ask for CRAP they’ll know what you mean
Louise: Right – I’ll give it a try.
Bertha: Bye – happy dieting
Louise: BFN